Dear Chicagoland Sports Media,

Hi. I just wanted to write to tell you that you guys are just too hard on all the sports figures in this town, and I for one am getting tired of the way our athletes are treated by you.

Yeah, the way you guys treat the Bears, who are the football team in this city and are the hope and dreams of young fans everywhere. That fine young man Lovie Smith has to run a football team. The tough questions you ask him, and how you characterize him to be a dope, that shit ain’t right man. And this Cutler guy, how do you expect him to throw 3 TDs in a game when you put a microphone in his face? Don’t you know you’re asking for trouble? How dare you Dan Pompei ask the great Jay Cutler if anyone talked him about yelling at the officials? Do you see what you did? You may have started a temper tantrum.

The way things are going, you’re going to cost Vinny Del Negro his job. I mean after all, you guys got Scott Skiles fired on Christmas, why not VDN? According to you guys, his players sucking have to be connected to him someway. General Managers or shields in this case can’t make these decisions on their own. They need your help.

I think all Cub fans can say they loved Milton Bradley, but you guys had to bring up all that racism and stuff, didn’t you? You had to talk about his emotional status, and you told everyone in Chicago that Lou Pinella called him a piece of shit during the Sox game. Can’t you see the man hopes the game is nine innings so he can run out the door so he pray to God that the hateful fans and media of Chicago don’t twist his words, and make sure his ivory white towel is in front of his locker.

But I believe the biggest thing you guys have done is you may have cost the White Sox a reliever in J.J. Putz. And this my friends really pisses me off. In fact, I have already sent letters to your editors to talk about how irresponsible it was for you to report on the fact Matt Thornton was trying to talk Putz into coming here, and the scandalous “bromance” you referred to. Now I guess the deal won’t get done due to you guys doing your job. How dare you? I will never buy a newspaper again. In fact, I will go to every store in Chicago, go to the racks, steal you rags you call journalism, and bring them to every street corner where the homeless hang out, and keep them warm with your crappy papers. You may have just cost the White Sox the World Series. How dare you people?

I sincerely hope you can look in the mirror and go to sleep at night, because our athletes can’t due to the fact vultures like you roam the streets of Chicago looking for 5000 words or less like a crack addict looking to score. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

Sincerely,
Your mother

Thanksgiving...BLAH!

I know I can be redundant at times, especially now.

Thanksgiving to me is a bullshit holiday. Here are the top 7 reasons why Thanksgiving is crap.

1-The idea of everyone sitting around a table with a dead bird laying there truly repulses me. Let's give thanks because some asshole thought it would be cute to murder a poor turkey. I know, I know, they were put here for us. Come on man. Do you really believe that any form of life was meant to be killed?

2-Why is it the Cowboys and the Lions have to play football every Thanksgiving? First off, the Lions are laughable. Sure the Cowboys keep things interesting, but not when they play the Raiders. And then you put an actual competitive game on NFL network. That is gay guys.

3-We have a holiday when we celebrate eating. That is the most ass backwards thing I have ever heard. Lets split our pants and put on 5-10 more pounds for the sake of some fucking holiday, GREAT IDEA.

4-Not only did the poor bird get killed, but the Indians eventually were wiped out by the pilgrims. The reason they got together was the pilgrims knew they fucked up and this was there way to save themselves.

5-When I was a young lad, every year for 14 years straight I got sick the day after Thanksgiving. It never failed. One time I threw up all over the escalator at Marshall Fields, and my dad ran away from me.

6-Then there's Black Friday. What's so black about it? It seems like such a fun day. Everyone after they just stuffed their faces for a whole day runs down the streets with glee spending lots of money, and engages in street brawls for XBOXs and other useless shit. Sorry video games are useless shit. You shouldn't beat anyone up for one. Its bad karma.

7-And most importantly, why take one day to give thanks for anything you have? Everyday is a gift, therefore you should be thankful everyday.

Just to clarify, I hate Thanksgiving. You're welcome.
Happy murder is OK for today day.

Mike

Some of the People at Meijer Suck!

So there we were. At Meijer on Algonquin and Randall Rd picking up some items that I forgot during the last shopping trip since I tried to wing it and not make a list. I do that sometimes, because I'm a guy, I guess. Anyway, we walked in and I was going to take the little shopping cart, and Vicki said how about we take one of the kiddie car carts? I thought that was a good idea because Jersey likes to ride in them. She loves to turn the steering wheel, and open the doors and stuff.

So we place our beautiful little girl into the shopping cart, and then this 90 year old man starts yelling at us that we have to put a dollar into the machine to use the cart. Now I have been here many a time with Jersey and never once have I been told to put a dollar in the machine, UNLESS I want the TV inside the cart to work. Yet, this old foggy demanded that we pay the dollar. Then some lady working the self checkout registers got in the action when the man asked her about the dollar. She said that us taking the shopping cart was "retail theft." I couldn't believe this. I was making fun of her, and I said to the man, "listen bud, I don't think people are going to be tearing the doors off to get to the children’s shopping carts at 6pm on a Sunday evening." He told me, no. I will not let you do that.

Meanwhile Jersey is sitting in the cart singing a song of some sort or something. The woman told us we needed to pay the dollar or we would leave. Vicki then got agitated and said "please get your manager." The man didn't and the woman said she was getting security. Vicki wasn't feeling well and then she yelled at them to "get a manager now!" The man was like "oh you want me to call a manager. OK" In the meantime, the woman still looking for security, me playing with Jersey singing the song she was singing with her, or one of the other goofy things I do to make her laugh.

After waiting for a manager for like a year and a half, Vicki finally went up to customer service. The lady got really agitated that she did. When she came back, Vicki said the manager said it was fine to take the cart, and even the senior citizen said "he's wrong, he's wrong!" Hey douche, that's your boss. He's right, and we're the customer, and we are always supposedly right. We drove off with the cart and shopped happily ever after.

Point of this post, just wondering, have you noticed that customer service has really gone down the toilet? You would think with the unemployment rate, people would step up and do better at their jobs so they would be allowed to keep them. That people would care to make someone smile. Not berate them because their child likes something fun. It's bullshit in this day and age. Share some stories with me. What was your worst customer service incident?

M